I AM: A Choice
April 24, 2017
“She did not know ANYTHING about gardening.”
-Mary in The Secret Garden
Well, I DECLARE(said with a sassy southern accent):
“I am a writer.”
Let me sit up straighter and say that a bit louder:
“I AM a WRITER.”
But guess what… like Mary and gardening, I don’t really know ANYTHING about writing. It’s true. I have no formal training to be a writer, but my soul continues to whisper,
“It’s your thing…do it anyway.”
There is a fearlessness that seems to rise in me when I hear these gentle whispers calling from within. Perhaps it is because I recognize the voice inside and trust HIS leading…EVEN WHEN it is calling me down a road that perhaps my standard issued tires were not originally built to handle.
And although Mary knew NOTHING about gardening, she too had to decide whether to trust the inner desire to dig, plant, and make the garden beautiful again…or to simply lock the door back behind her and walk away.
Most of the time, I choose to believe the voice inside that says “YOU CAN”, and write down the words in my heart. But some days, like today, when the words just won’t seem to come, another voice rises up and shouts,
“You are a phony, and a fraud.“
This voice unfortunately, is not new to me. I know her all too well because this voice…is my own. *Sigh.
It’s the same one I hear each time I tackle jobs and/or projects with which I have no real experience in or background. It becomes LOUDEST when I trip and fall, or get a bit lost on one of my uncharted journeys. And if I am not careful, it can lead me onto a trail of fear, where I can become paralyzed and even terrified that someone will “find me out”.
But here is what I have learned on these journeys of fear through the woods:
I (INSERT YOUR NAME HERE) AM:
Who I CHOOSE to BE
Who I CHOOSE to BELIEVE
I have a CHOICE in how I live my Life, my Days, and my Minutes. And I have a CHOICE to believe that I AM called to write OR I can believe the voices of fear that keep me stuck in neutral. But at the end of the day, it IS my choice.
So today I choose to tell fear to take a flying leap off the Cliffs of Insanity, and write with all of my heart, even on days when it is NOT easy.
TAKE THAT FEAR!!!!
How many of you have let that voice of fear stop you from doing something BIGGER than you thought you could be or do?
Who will you CHOOSE to Listen to Today?
Choosing to Believe in You,
FHB and Especially Me
P.S. Read more about fear in my blog Say It Out Loud: Fear Bombs.
P.S.S. This blog was originally inspired by a quote that was posted on social media by one of the most fearless women I know: IsaAgape. She quoted a piece of the book “Big Magic” by the very talented Elizabeth Gilbert.
“Often what keeps you from [creative] living is your self-absorption (your self-doubt, your self-disgust, your self-judgment, your crushing sense of self-protection).
Defending yourself as a creative person begins by defining yourself. It begins when you declare your intent. Stand up tall and say it aloud, whatever it is:
I’m a singer.
I’m a writer. …
I’m a photographer.
I don’t yet know exactly what I am, but I’m curious enough to go find out!
Making this declaration, your soul will mobilize accordingly. It will mobilize ecstatically, in fact, because this is what your soul was born for. (Trust me, your soul has been waiting for you to wake up to your own existence for years.)
“Who the hell do you think you are?”, your darkest interior voices will demand.
“It’s funny you should ask,” you can reply. “I’ll tell you who I am: I am a child of God, just like anyone else. I am a constituent of this universe. I have invisible spirit benefactors who believe in me, and who labor along side me. The fact that I am here at all is evidence that I have the right to be here. I have a right to my own voices and a right to my own vision. I have a right to collaborate with creativity, because I myself am a product and a consequence of Creation. I’m on a mission of artistic liberation, so let the girl go.”
-Big Magic Quote
P.S.S.S. “Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow.” Proverbs 3:6