“You are not so yeller and you are not so scrawny.
Even your hair doesn’t slamp down on your head so flat.
It’s got some life in it so as it sticks out a bit.”
Frances Hodgson Burnett. “The Secret Garden.”
Compliments: Their timing and delivery is funny sometimes. Ben the gardener above was truly complimenting Mary in his own salty way…pointing out what working in the garden had done for her looks…though his delivery was as rough as his hands. The garden was changing her inside and out, and he could see it too.
And when we do change for the good, we expect the comments and observations. But have you ever been showered with compliments when you are about to change or just thinking about change?
This is my most recent life observation: Compliments, many times, pre-date the Actual Change.
Stay with me here. I don’t know about you, but it seems the only time someone compliments my hair is just days or even hours before I am heading to the salon to get a drastic new haircut or color. It never fails…someone will stop me randomly and tell me how great my hair looks and to “not change a thing“!
“Wha-a-a-t??? Am I on Candid Camera?” I wonder to myself…peering around for actual hidden cameras.
How did they know that I was about to change it? They didn’t…but it seems as if the universe arranges these meetings, to check-in just ONE MORE TIME to ask…
“Do you really want to do this?
I mean…how serious are you about this (or any) change?”
…the Universe Questions.
And CHANGE is the catalyst here for the compliments.
Most of the world, me included most days…we like it better when things are the same. It’s easier that way…because we know what to expect. And let’s be honest…change of any kind can be hard, not only on the change-e or change-r, but also on those around them. And so it seems that when “change is in the air”, others feel it around you and work…mostly unknowingly to resist it.
Now clearly, I am not JUST talking about a haircut here….though I have had many drastically different ones in my 43 years. More times than not…I didn’t listen to the universe and got the haircuts, good or bad, anyway. See the picture montage my mother made me for college graduation for a giggle or two at my expense.
This same thing always happens EVERY TIME when we go to make a change to the menu at our restaurant Grape Juice. Each quarter, we look at the sales reports to identify the bottom seller to replace it with something new! And it never fails…that the week after we decide which item will get cut…that it will suddenly become the BEST SELLER that week! In this case…the compliment is that “lots of someone’s” wanted to order it!
The Universe Questions:
“Do you really want to take me off the menu?
See how popular I am now?”
And then most recently, I observed this same phenomenon after making a prayerful decision to take a break from blogging to focus on writing my book.
Can you guess what happened?
Within hours of my “yes…this is what I am going to do” moment…I received two separate notes, back to back, about how much my blog has meant to them…and to “keep it up” and that I am “making a difference” in their lives.
And again…The Universe Questions:
“How serious are you really about writing a book?
Do you really think anyone will read it anyways?
Can’t you just blog AND write your book at the same time?”
(My answers: Very serious. My Mom will read it for sure. And I am honestly not sure…because I haven’t tried.)
The funny thing is…my first thoughts after reading these two sweet and well meaning notes were:
- Are you flipping kidding me? I get these now…after I said I was going to take a break from blogging?
- This is like getting a complement before you get a haircut.
- I HAVE to write a blog about this!
So here I sit today…doing what??? WRITING A BLOG!!!! What??? I know…I said I was going to put this aside to write the book!
But here is the deal…these preemptive challenges or resistance to change can be GOOD!
In this case, it reminded me that writing these blogs…are how I process the life happening in and around me. Writing these words are my therapy, that I simply share with you, in hopes that they might be something you need to hear too.
So for now…I will keep blogging a bit here and working on my book there. I plan to simply write down the words on my heart and then sort them as they come: these for the book…those for a blog.
Blogging on a little longer,
FHB and Especially Me
P.S. ARE YOU FEELING RESISTANCE TO CHANGE?
I recently read The War of Art by Steven Pressfield and he talks a lot about what he calls RESISTANCE and how it keeps so many of us from doing the things we are called to do. He says:
“Rule of thumb: The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”
I highly recommend this book for anyone who feels stuck and wants to push forward. Whether you are a creative or not…this book is FULL of nuggets that will help you identify things that could be holding you back.
